Tag Archives: running

Fresh-New and Old-Stinky Self-Discoveries: A List

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1. I love bulldogs. Like, I love bulldogs so much that I actually follow a bulldog blog. So it’s a thing.

2. Sometimes I balance overconfidence with complete and utter insecurity/self-loathing (“your [wet] feet learn, okay, this is the new situation, we better get real comfortable”). Sidenote: this is unhealthy; do what I say not what I do. Always good to have something to work on.

3. It’s time that I perform a slam poem. One time I tried and it was a mess and now I’m scared, but it’s pretty much time to get over that and try again.

4. I may have mentioned this before, but I like ducks so much that I can’t eat duck. This is particularly odd because I’m generally not all that sentimental and I have, in fact, slaughtered, plucked and gutted chickens by hand and eaten said chickens — albeit at a later date. Ducks are not chickens, however, and the point is that seeing ducks brings me so much immediate joy that the prospect of eating them just makes me as sad as a duck with a crooked neck who sometimes walks in circles. (This morning on my run I saw a duck and five fuzzy ducklings and it was amazing, spectacular, and all the rest of the synonyms for super in the English language. Not exaggerating.)

5. Going to bed is a challenge.

6. Getting up early is actually wonderful, but less so when you can’t also go to bed early.

7. Public Confession: I have a TV addiction. I have a lot of things to say about this, so watch for that to come. But not here, not now. It’s too soon.

8. I run pretty fast. I mean, right now, I’m in pretty terrible shape and so it’s significantly less impressive, but actually, when I’m in good shape, I run pretty fast. I don’t know what the significance of this is. Just that I have rediscovered it.

9. There are other people out there in the world who are psychologically like me. Kiesch-dog, I’m thinking of you. It’s incredible. It’s like talking to a mirror. Mirrors don’t usually talk back. It’s totally incredible. Now, if only I could also find the fairies in the woods that I have long been convinced are there.

10. Gwyneth Paltrow has cookbooks and I intend to buy one of them. I have never been on a diet before, but I am feeling inspired after reading this post.

(Rules for) Living Life on the Lime (337)

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A. Do not be afraid to take a break.

  1. From anything. Seriously, from running or writing or being really strict with yourself on that diet. Or whatever.
  2. For real. But don’t do anything extreme. Taking a break is good as long as it doesn’t result in extreme unhealthy life conditions.
  3. Ok, so #2 was probably obvious, but I didn’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s bad decision-making as a result of unclear advice.

B. Working 90-100 hours per week is possible.

C. Over-attachment to one’s mobile device is unhealthy.

D. The best non-caffeinated beverage at Starbucks is the venti soy Refresh tea misto.

  1. “Refresh” is mint. Yum.
  2. Second best is in the frapuccino section. Probably green tea.

E. Running in the rain is not nearly as unpleasant as you might imagine, unless you run without key items like headbands to cover your cold ears or a water proof jacket or an episode of This American Life to listen to on your i-pod.

  1. Radio Lab is a reasonable substitute when you run out of This American Life.
  2. Headphones are also important.
  3. And a grandiose pancake breakfast afterwards.

F. If you have two-year-old twins for your niece and nephew, it may be a good idea to take them to Trader Joe’s because they have baby carts there.

  1. It may also be a good idea to pick apples with them and find them lots of books at thrift stores and it is very important that you know about bath time and bike riding.

Keep pumpkins on the mind, too.

Diss Update, Running Travails and Life Goals for One Month

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So I have written a 20-page short story and I think it’s, like, almost done. (I never used to use the word “like” in my writing that way, but now I think it’s funny). I also have a mostly done 3-page short story. Although the fonts are a little different, I made the size the same so I would be telling you the mostly-truth about length. Now I need to finish another 3-5 pager and I’ll be all done. For now.

And it would be great if I could finish some big applications then, get all the maximum number of people signed up for The OpEd Project, and procure employment. So that’s on the docket. Yay life.

Anybody who wants to give short story feedback, let me know!

In other news, I really need to pee, I am part-owner of a kitten named Mailman, and that third short story needs to come shooting out, like now. Oh wait, that’s not other news. But it just got in there. Because it’s true!

Sometimes the truth just comes out.

On an unrelated note, I might have runner’s knee. What IS that? My Dad is concerned, especially because I was talking about marathons today. I have always been against marathons on the premise that running one is bad for your body because bodies like regularity, rhythm, constancy — that sort of thing.

In any case, I may or may not think that running three marathons would be better, you know, as an initial goal, because then you would be a marathoner as opposed to a ran-a-marathoner-oncer, which would mean your body would get used to it, right? Also, I think that running marathons might be my new favorite possible excuse for traveling the world. And being super fit. Both parts = good parts. There are some potential counter-arguments to this, I think. Like that I could travel the world and run half marathons and it would probably not kill me as quickly.

And then there’s this runner’s knee thing.

Let me describe and if any of you have advice, I would appreciate it: First, I run and later my right knee is a little stiff and sore — but really really not sharp pain by any means unless I keep my knees bent for too long and then they will both hurt until I straighten them, which causes both to pop, although my left knee is never really stiff or sore and this last part (about the bent knees needing to straighten) has been true since I was in middle school so I’m pretty sure it’s not a terrible awful thing.

So it’s really the stiff/sore thing that seems bad. And the fact that sometimes when I bend and straighten my right leg, the knee pops every time. Or when I bend in a different way, to stretch or just move around, it makes little cracking noises. Does that make sense? I would like better or more advice than “ice it” because it *for reals* doesn’t hurt badly enough for that the vast majority of the time and if it did I would ice it. Also, if that’s the only option, then I really do have runner’s knee and the other big rec is that I should rest it. Get me? I like running; I don’t want to rest it indefinitely. I haven’t even been gettin all cray cray and running too much recently.

That’s the story team. Help me out.

Yo da le la lu the weird version of (Rules for) Living Life on the Lime (989)

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I just think everyone should know that I’m super happy.

Job applications in the works. Let me know if you hear about something in the legal field that doesn’t require a JD: k great thanks.

Also, listen to some Foster the People because it will make you happy. The whole album is the best option.

If someone offers to show you how to do a back flip, do it. Then teach me.

Eat greens.

Then eat ramen and Captain Crunch — the one with colorful stuff is better but might have worse chemical colorings in it.

Free association.

God, bears are cool.

Poems.

Editing. Running.

Oh my gosh and I’m finally reading The Hunger Games. You should read it too. I couldn’t stop and stayed awake until 2:30 am. This means that I made it through half the book and tonight I’m going to get in bed at, like, 9 so that I can finish it before I go to sleep without also preventing myself from getting enough sleep.

Sleep is super great.

I actually kind of like Twitter. Let’s Tweet together. You can follow me.

Now it is time for me to listen to Lonely Boy. RIGHT NOW.

A woman was yodeling the other afternoon at Montana Jack’s (that’s in Dean, MT, — I dare you to find it without asking for directions) and it was cool.

EmPeeTee — I bet you could learn to yodel. It would be hilarious.

Signing off,
the one and only, really truly alive and attempting to write, LIME

serenity, serenity. Oh, I have serenity.

Disappear

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Disappear
into the cave.

Go
beyond where you imagined stopping
grab the wisp of wind ahead, drawn through the air
as if someone has illustrated
this life

hold tight to the windy wisp
and stand tall
or know it will drag you

drink in the mystic chant
in the distance
see the glow of a fire
on the horizon

smell smoke

and run through it
after it
into it

somewhere the burning will be hottest
and later it will cool
the steam will rise from the coals

gather the flickering steam in your hands
likely drawn with chalk
hide it away
remember

A satisfying end.

14 hours of sleep later

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I am in a complete panic about getting a job. So that’s fun.

And another thing, it’s time for me to go running and my phone says it’s 93 degrees outside. WHAT?

Other than that, things are hunky dory. I need to go to the grocery store for five days worth of food, call T, and fall asleep at a reasonable hour. Yet the list of other things I need to do — substantial things — is freaking me out.

Life is frightening when you think too hard about it, but then you list the facts and things are actually ok.

Fact: My sister sent me a Starbucks card because she is awesome and she loves me.

Fact: I have options.

Fact: My parents love me enough to want me around most of the time.

Fact: Sometimes I laugh so hard that I cry.

Fact: It is possible for me to drive around Montana.

Fact: My mom left me a Blue Moon in the fridge. That was so nice.

Fact: I bought new underwear and it is fun.

Fact: Someone will probably hire me to do something in the next two months.

Fact: In fact, someone hired me to do something last week!

Fact: Sometimes I write reasonably decent poetry.

Fact: I have nearly written three whole short stories for my dissertation. Although they need editing.

Fact: Time.

Fact: My cousin is getting married! Yay!

Fact: I literally have the cutest niece and nephew in the entire world.

Fact: The graduates invited me to chaperone their senior sneakout. Translation? I’m cool!

Fact: Yep, I’m officially feeling better.

Time for that run.

The best niece and nephew

Family Reunion: beaches, something dangerous with frisbees and beer bottles, and Apples to Apples

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Let it be known that I have attended what I believe to be my first ever family reunion. It was exciting. Not crazy southern style with hundreds of people (thank goodness — I get overwhelmed in a room with six people…sometimes…), but family who I actually know, all of whom managed to meet up in the same place at the same time and hang out and play funny games and eat birthday cake.

My aunt put together this incredible family tree with something like nine generations on it — it was massive and mind-boggling (and I have a feeling it was a lot of work). I, of course, smart child that I am, joined my cousins looking at the tree and immediately looked at a picture of my uncle and said — “wow! that guy really looks like your dad!” to one of them. Then I paused, while they laughed, and I realized aloud, “Oh, that is your dad.” Duh.

So there were thirty of us, and we spent two and a little days together. I will list highlights for the purpose of expediting the writing process and to avoid subjecting you to endless ordinary sentences.

1. For reunion attendees, this is obvious: the family fun run! J and C were expected to make an appearance, given their newfound expertise in the half marathon arena, as was another cousin that I would call Six-Pack, but can’t because it’s actually my card-playing alter-ego. Maybe Six-Pack#2. But apparently they were out doing more exciting things. (As if that were possible). The POINT is that three super second cousins (or however that calculation works — three cousins) joined my Dad, my brother-in-law and me on what may have been a 3-mile run along the beach. This was awesome because the Oregon coast is slightly cold and it warmed me up enough that these three cousins were then able to convince the rest of us to get into the icy water and wave jump. Which was basically the most exciting thing I’ve ever done.

1. A. Pegs also ventured ankle-deep into the deep freeze to capture and appropriately ironic beach profile picture for me. My hero.

1. B. That was really long, but seriously… go wave jumping in July off the Oregon coast. You will be frozen, but not at all disappointed.

2. Rowdy rounds of Apples to Apples. Mark has some questions about my qualifications as a judge, but I will just take this opportunity to remind him that his daughter and I seemed fairly clear on the logic of judging — sometimes the most interesting card is the winner, regardless of an obvious relationship between the red and the green cards. And our agreement must make it reasonable.

3. Picking the brain of a person who holds the precise combination of degrees (JD/PhD) that I think I would like to hold. This may not be exciting for blog-readers, but it was oh-so-exciting for me. Some day I will have a profession!

4. Playing some drinking game with my cousins, including our 12-year-old cousin who was required to hold a soda can because part of the difficulty was apparently throwing the frisbee one-handed. The game, which we cunningly set up in the parking lot amongst the negligently parked cars, involved throwing a frisbee at five empty beer bottles in an attempt to knock one over. I succeeded exactly once at this. On my second try. And it may sound straightforward. But there are more rules. Like, if the frisbee touches the ground before reaching the bottles, your opponents can stomp on it and throw from the point at which they stopped it. Also, if you knock over one of your own bottles, it is knocked down and you have to take a drink — or bite of ice cream (when my Dad was playing — he likes ice cream more than beer or soda). Me and Six-Pack#2 struggled particularly at this game and occasionally hit the negligently parked cars. Which, I will just say, was funny. And if we didn’t get a lot of bottles knocked over, we did bring joy into the lives of our teammates and opponents.

4. A. I am really failing to write short highlights.

5. The twins. They’re always a highlight, I know, but they were especially funny at the reunion. DD and I did some finger painting which devolved into body paint relatively quickly, but only to the dismay of my sister — I’m the fun aunt, what can I say?? And MarMar and I discovered the thrill of the iPad train and the iPad glitter paint. Fortunately this was a less messy game. And not to leave out important tidbits: the twins turned two! With a purple cake and a blue cake. Yum yum :)

6. Talking to Momma L about being a working momma and an assertive woman and just generally chatting about everything from that soft porn book (what’s it called? Fifty pages of gray or something? I think that’s not quite it…) to whatever else occurred to us.

7. I managed to make scrambled eggs with spinach and cheese (for the breakfast prepared by my Dad and me) with an ice scraper. It was in the utensils drawer. And it worked really well. Then I read the inscription on the side that said “Use to Remove Ice” and I felt vaguely embarrassed.

8. My grandfather beat me at gin. Like 124 in the first hand to 0. And then I won a hand and got 4 points. This is a future highlight because I will someday improve enough to compete with his expertise and then he will be impressed. At present it’s a highlight because my grandfather really likes to win. So he laughed really hard at first. Then I think he got worried that maybe something is wrong with me. But I got a little better toward the end and he seemed less worried.

9. My brother-in-law could only come for a day, but he flew across the whole country to do it. He’s a good dad and a good husband. So that is a good last highlight.

You should all be very jealous because my family is awesome. As a side note, I would like to mention that I think I smell like patchouli and I don’t like patchouli and I don’t know how this happened.

The Twins Help YaYa Pack for the Reunion


Which is just the occasion for dancing on the bed…


And playing the guitar.