Me at the Gym


Today I went to the gym because I decided that I didn’t want to go to cross country practice. I decided this because I like to do a variety of activities during the course of a workout and sometimes on Tuesdays, cross country practices consist of running the same distance over and over again. And although that is super interesting, I only have the attention span of a flea, or maybe a duck gerbil.

I was rotating through weights, abs and the rowing machine (three times for each exercise because that is the CrossFit way) and after my first go on the pull down arm thing — I think it’s for like, the posterior deltoid or something — this cute blond guy comes over and asks if we can share the machine. He’s got a lot of muscles for being not very big, which obviously means I say yes, although I probably would have anyway, but then I try to make a joke about owning the machine and he doesn’t understand, so it’s awkward.

At this point I am standing, and I notice I have definitely left a sweat mark on the seat of the machine. But I think to myself: Whatever, sweat is sexy.

He confirms with me again that it is ok to share the machine and I say yes again, and then go to the other room to do abs.

He definitely messed up my routine, but there aren’t very many weight-lifting machines, so I forgave him. I tried to time it so I would get to him between sets and we could alternate, but I had terrible timing — or he had terrible eyesight. Basically I managed to interrupt just before his last set, at maybe my peak sweatiness, and he insists that I go ahead, so I do, and leave another sweat mark on the seat and realizing this, I speed walk back to the other room while studiously avoiding eye contact.

So that was fun.

The Proper Technique for Smelling Someone Else's Armpit

9 responses »

  1. I agree with both above statements. I also feel like I should go to the gym. However, I much prefer just reading about your gym activities. Living vicariously and all that.

  2. this story has nothing to do with ducks, and I think you should remove that tag. ducks, like pigeons, have an intense attention span. ever offered bread to a duck 1x? they’ll follow you around for the next hour hoping for a repeat. and they don’t forget.

    so there. 🙂

  3. I think sweat can be sexy, if caused by the right kind of exercise (see comment #1). Occasionally, I drove by a gym once. Didn’t seen any ducks, but there were a few Canadian geese waddling across the parking lot. Some lady was chasing them. Probably to check their membership cards and make sure they weren’t behind on dues.

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