Janice and I went ahead to see the slope.
“We’re not going that way,” she said.
I looked back at our disheveled group, barely clinging to the horses. They hadn’t heard, but already despair crinkled mouths and eyes.
“We have to go on.”
They would have turned back at her word; we would retrace our steps. But I went to the edge and looked down the precarious trail. It was, at least, a trail.
“Janice.”
Her jaw quivered, lips tightening. And she walked away, reigns in hand. It was so small, but this was my defiance. We would go on.
For more stories prompted by this image, visit Madison Woods and explore the rest of the Friday Fictioneers!
Great episode . Friday fictioneers sounds interesting.
You should join us! I know everyone would be happy to have you (and obviously you’re a fellow fab writer). It’s definitely a fun and friendly community.
There should be some more links appearing in the comment feed here today (for other stories), and you can also check out Madison’s blog with the link about, and that would get you to all the various 100-word stories.
Thanks for reading!!
philosphermouseofthehedge you should definitely join us with a handle like that. We do have a lot of fun, it’s only 100 words, and we’d love to have you 🙂
Lime,
Your story took flight right from the start with the two of them walking up to inspect the way down. I very much wanted to know what hardships lay behind them, what forces drove them on that trail, and what events fueled the defiance.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks, Doug! I’m glad you’re feeling curious. I was trying to get more of a sense of plot line this time, and less of a complete story (partially because I think I usually go for the complete story — nice to change things up a bit).
By the way, did you see the pictures from Venice and Milan? I thought you might like the change of genre — maybe I can convince Mads to use one of those photos for a weekly prompt!!
Happy trails and not trials I hope!
Me too — isn’t it funny how the writer doesn’t know sometimes, though?
Hey Lime. I like the defiance. Go Narrator! Silly cowardly Janice!
Mine’s at elmowrites.wordpress.com if you want to stop by
Thanks for reading! I actually just visited you a bit ago — glad to have you in our midst 🙂
I, too, liked the defiance in this piece. If you were to expand it into a broader story, I’d love to see more of that, what made her break free, why Janice was the leader and why she did not want to go down that way. Something down there beyond the immediate danger we see at this point? Curiouser and curiouser. Good job!
What an excellent response! I’m glad it took you this way. Thanks for reading. (Yours was wonderful).
It’s a good set up and a telling tale of struggle between the characters in such few lines. Well done.
Fabulous! Thank you for reading and commenting!
Oops. I forgot. Here’s my link for anyone else who’s interested in my bit: http://sweettea.kdmccrite.com/betrayal/
great story.lots of tension
Thank you!
Yes, I’d like to know more about why the group was so bedraggled and clinging to horses, and why Janice wouldn’t turn back to retrace steps. Will you keep writing it?
Here’s mine: http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/the-lonely-path/
I really don’t know. I have a lot of writing projects at the moment… so maybe not right now? But it will stay on, I think, and eventually be returned to.
All I can say, little Lime, is I hope they make it down that trail!
Aah! Me too. We’ll see…
I happened to have taken a trail that was washed away. Halfway through, the way forward seemed “It was, at least”–there was a lot of truth in those words. Robin
Mm, yes… the “at least” is important. I’m glad you made it through that!