Worst Friend Alert


These are the things I have done in the last four hours to earn me the title “Worst Friend Ever”:

(Background: My wonderful friend Kelsey is coming to visit me and flew into Edinburgh today, about 1.5 hours ago.)

1. Having discussed with Kelsey a plan in which I would go to the airport to pick her up and we would return to St. Andrews, I complete my errands running late, and rush to the car, realizing that I am precisely on schedule to pick her up half an hour after she lands. (So I’m already late).

2. I throw everything into the car, with the simultaneous awareness that I have to fill up the tank, and I drive. (So I am going to be more late).

3. At the gas station, I get gas (note: this is important), and I proceed to drive down the road, heading out of town. (This is maybe the high point of the journey).

4. I come to the first roundabout in my journey and about ten meters before it, the car goes dead. With my foot on the gas, I realize that the engine is actually off and I maneuver to the side of the road, which happens to be just to the left of the outside of the roundabout.

a. (This is not an ideal location for parking vehicles).

5. After trying to restart the car, I come to the conclusion that the battery has died. (I am wrong).

6. I turn on the emergency flashers. (Good thought).

7. And start calling people to find out what I should do and get Audrey’s number. Audrey is the person who takes care of the Bobby Jones Scholars. (A job I’m sure she loves, especially in circumstances such as these).

8. After calling three people and texting five, Audrey calls me back and tells me they’re coming for me and just to hang tight. (Yes, she is the hero of this story).

9. A police officer approaches the vehicle and tells me that this is the stupidest place he’s ever seen anyone pull over to take a call. I shake my head frantically to indicate that this is not what I am doing and finally muster “the engine stopped” before bursting into tears. (A shining moment).

10. The police officer then feels very bad for, as he puts it, “having a row with me,” and proceeds to move his own vehicle and try to help me with mine by calling two more police officers to come and push it around the corner and off the roundabout. (He is a hero, but secondary to Audrey).

11. Meanwhile Kelsey calls, using a random Scottish person’s phone and I explain what’s happened and that she’ll have to take the bus/train. I would describe the help I gave her then as shoddy, to say the least, and I will also confess that I have not heard from her since then. (Not awesome).

12. Our secondary hero discovers the problem: I have put “petrol” (gas) in a “diesel” van. (Right).

13. The police officers push me to the side street and ten minutes later Audrey arrives with hubby and son in Star Wars t-shirt. (Awesome).

13. We (meaning Audrey and hubby) manage to attach the two vehicles to one another and we pull it round the roundabout and down to the repair shop, which is actually only about two blocks away. (Score 1 for me, breaking down two blocks from repairs. -1 for the break down being entirely my own fault).

14. I take a picture with Audrey in front of the van, thinking this might make up for my crying in front of her entire family and three police officers. (Not sure it worked).

15. They let me out in the middle of St Andrews, where I get tickets for Kelsey and I to go to the Bop this evening. (Under the truly optimistic assumption that she will make it here without a British cell phone and with a rather large bag in tow).

16. I am the Worst Friend Ever.


6 responses »

  1. this is HILARIOUS. mostly because it totally reminds me of myself. and you’re right; the embarrassment of crying wears off in 3-6 hours. and then it’s nothing. and you met police officers! with, I assume, cute scottish accents. so that’s something. 🙂 love you!

  2. Quite a story. Calamity Lime meets Inspector Clouseau–what an adventure! Now, who can we get to play Lime in the film version?

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