My Incredibly Mature Confession

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Ok, so apparently being alone on a small island in Greece for two weeks can actually be a little lonely. It’s almost as if being able to communicate with people in person is important to mental health or something. Right.

However, I have an alternative reading of my feelings of loneliness. What is actually going on is that I am being pushed to manage my time wisely and do all of the things that I think I want to do in an efficient way and that happens to be vaguely challenging. I’m feeling lonely because I can’t blame other people for interference or my lack of focus.

And maybe this sounds a little strange, but I this thinking to be a good step. I hit the wall a little bit yesterday and the day before — feeling frustrated and letting myself engage unhealthier activities as a distraction from all of the healthy activities that are more challenging (playing solitaire on my phone and watching like four episodes of a TV show that really isn’t, um, quality). But now I have the opportunity to acknowledge these as tactics of delay, maybe even coping mechanisms for feeling overwhelmed by my own sets of goals, and I can put them aside and refocus — because I still have a little over a week to master nirvana. Right? Right.

Not that watching an episode of less-than-quality television on occasion is deeply destructive to humanity. But maybe compulsively watching four is less impressive.

So. It has been decided. I am getting up early tomorrow. Watch out, people. Super productive wild woman is making her entrance.

Notice the question mark...

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12 responses »

  1. exactly what Im going through

    Laziness and mismanagement of time is preventing me from finishing this book and achieving fitness goals. Im getting off the computer aftes this comment and hitting the gym…

    good post

  2. Hey Ry-about that poor quality TV (a bit redundant): I heard Gandi’s grandson lecture once. He commented on violence n the media, which I extrapolate to poor media in general. He pointed out that the only reason they make that stuff is because people watch it, and the only way to get them to stop making garbage is ot not watch it. The responsibility comes back to all of us. Not that there isn’t a place or need to occasionally “veg out”. Maybe that doesn’t extrapolate to “poor quality”, but it does to destructive media. Not that what you or I do will affect it, but it is what we can do. hugs -Scott

    • Scott, I actually think we’ve talked about this before! And I totally agree with you. I have some favorite tv shows, but they’re few and far between. Unfortunately, I’ve been in a stage of being less selective. It’s always good to turn a new leaf, though, and take back my choosy consumerist power. xo Ry

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