Trip (99)


He told me the ceiling was abuzz, described a scarf writhing, and explained that everything slithered because a switch had been flipped to the ‘on’ position.

I was young.

I followed him in, and witnessed blood racing through veins – my veins – too narrow to possibly confine this pounding rush. Yet they did. My whole body coursed in some brilliance of bursting color and flashing through me and vibrating so that the Back Catalogue on my wall was alive in stippled rainbow technicolor.

It didn’t go all at once. It faded as sunlight toward dusk. And now it is dark.

A Photo Prompt from Good Madison

For more flashes prompted by this week’s photo, and to learn more about flash fiction, visit Madison Woods and explore.


44 responses »

  1. You say you worried that this was predictable, but it felt really vivid and interesting to me! You described the trip well and I thought the comedown at the end was perfectly pitched too.

    • Aww, thank you! I loved yours, as usual, and I really appreciate knowing which phrases you like particularly — it helps get a sense of how it sounds outside my own head (haha).

  2. I loved your phrases, word choices and the feeling it gave me to read your story. Most of all, I loved the rhythm. It just flowed so nicely. Wonderful! (I would have followed, too, and being young would obviously have had nothing to do with it. Being curious, maybe…)

  3. I’ve been reading a lot of poetry lately and the sound of this line was just great: “He told me the ceiling was abuzz, described a scarf writhing, and explained that everything slithered because a switch had been flipped to the ‘on’ position.”

    There’s so much consonance — ceiling, abuzz, described, scarf, explained, slithered, because, switch, position.

    And the assonance — he, me, ceiling, described, writhing, slithered, switch, flipped, position.

    I loved your word usage!

    • Thank you! I really appreciate that because I definitely feel like lyricism and a general awareness of language is super important in both prose and poetry. I write a lot of poetry on my blog, but I think it’s less my strong suit and that the way I use language integrates better into prose. I’m just really glad that someone felt like this had that poetic feel to it 🙂

    • Maybe I should confess at this point that I’ve never tried shrooms — I wasn’t actually sure I expected anyone to believe I had based on this post, but enough of my friends have described it to me that I just went ahead. Cool that people bought in 🙂

      Going to yours now because I think I missed it on Friday.

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