Imprisoned (93)

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This image was provided by Madison Woods as inspiration for the Friday Fictioneers

In the solitude before and after, I still remember waiting. Between cracks in the façade, I saw light and dark as it rose and fell. My breath has no memory.

Incoherent as cows to a hawk, rain falls, driving and down and away, to discover crevices and to drip through. I lay awake counting threes. No time for trembling if the invisible night sky will not wait. No, it is time for escape.

An artifice to flake away; a stone to tumble out.

Such grand escape, only to abandon one detention for another.

For more flashes prompted by this image, and to learn more about flash fiction, visit Madison Woods and explore the Friday Fictioneers.

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47 responses »

  1. Wow, this is incredible. A real ‘wish I’d written that’ piece. I can’t claim to fully understand it but I love the imagery and the sense that I’m getting something new with each reading (three so far). I love, ‘My breath has no memory’. Inspired stuff. Also, ‘artifice’: one of those words I only half know. I look it up and have now firmed up my understanding of it. Good word. Superb piece of flash. Well done 🙂

    • haha — glad you liked it. I wondered whether it worked, but it seems like a lot of people liked it — or at least commented on it.

      Thanks for the visit and the comment!

    • I love that you stole my name.

      And um… I think this might be one of those ‘stories’ that is better left to interpretation. A mood is perfectly acceptable, so thank you for enjoying it despite the moments of incoherence 🙂

    • Haha! Well, mysterious is a curse for some of us, so just remember, the grass is always greener, right?

      Yours was lovely, too, so don’t worry a bit 🙂

    • Ohhh… I was so slow! I didn’t see that I hadn’t made it to your piece until just now and I’m so sorry! But thank you for reading mine and being so kind.

    • I’m glad you didn’t mind not understanding — I do think it’s ok sometimes, but that it’s also nice to be explicit or obvious, too. The beauty comes in many forms, right? Thanks, Lora!

    • Thank you, Susie! The rain felt like something really important in this scene, but I’m not sure why. I suppose I’d have to write more to find out.

      Thanks, lady 🙂

    • aha! I don’t think anyone else commented on that, but it seemed so important — because the story I wanted to evoke was much darker than the photo itself. Thanks for the read and the share!

    • Oh that’s very kind. I wonder whether I could go that direction with it — all of these thoughtful comments are making me think I should at least give it a shot. Thanks so much!

  2. Dear Lime,

    Did it tunnel from one prison cell to another? This was like musing to Mozart on a Merry-Go-Round. Beautiful ups and downs that kept returning me to the beginning and round again. Forgive my honesty as I declare my idiocy.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  3. Hi LIme,
    Beautiful and haunting writng. I can’t sort out the story without more. Think this would be great beginning to a longer piece.
    Thanks for reading and commenting on my story.

  4. I loved the desire to escape, only to realize it’s no escape at all. In a very opposite way it somehow sounds a lot like the meaning behind mine. You write in beautiful prose that almost sounds like poetry when I read it. Great 100 words!

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