(Rules for) Living Life on the Lime (515)

A. Appreciate the rain. Other people have so much more or less of it than they need. Just appreciate yours.

B. Remember to use I-statements when expressing your discomfort with someone else.

1. Example: “I feel angry because you ate all the pie, dude!”
2. Example: “I feel happy because I scored three goals on that group of children, which means I win.”
3. Example: “When you poke me in the side, I feel tickled.”
4. And so on.

C. Consider the consequences of your actions.

1. Like if you eat too many blueberries and spinach, it might give you the runs.
2. Or if you get into the shower with your glasses on, they might get wet.

D. Re-use zip-lock bags.

E. There can never be too many raspberries or blueberries, despite what I said earlier.

F. Trust yourself.

 

(Rules for) Living Life on the Lime (565)

A. Sing along.

B. Complete tasks you planned to complete.

1. Don’t freak out if it’s not on exactly the right timeline — flexibility is good.
2. But quit procrastinating.

C. Sometimes it is hard to understand what people are saying, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be interesting if you figure it out.

1. For example: “Make Me Proud” by Drake featuring Nicki Minaj is good, but what is Nicki Minaj actually saying? I think there are words missing.

D. Be optimistic.

E. Sleeping enough helps you maintain a normal weight. So do that.

F. Include characters you are uncomfortable writing when you write.

1. You might make a new friend.
2. Or learn something new about yourself.
3. Or you might discover that people are not so different from one another, no matter what identities have been pinned to them (e.g. black, feminist, gay, conservative, stay-at-home mom).

G. Drink enough beer.

1. But not too much beer.

H. Go swinging.

I. Take pictures.

1. Of the garden.
2. And other stuff, too.

in the morning 

(Rules for) Living Life on the Lime (337)

A. Do not be afraid to take a break.

1. From anything. Seriously, from running or writing or being really strict with yourself on that diet. Or whatever.
2. For real. But don’t do anything extreme. Taking a break is good as long as it doesn’t result in extreme unhealthy life conditions.
3. Ok, so #2 was probably obvious, but I didn’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s bad decision-making as a result of unclear advice.

B. Working 90-100 hours per week is possible.

C. Over-attachment to one’s mobile device is unhealthy.

D. The best non-caffeinated beverage at Starbucks is the venti soy Refresh tea misto.

1. “Refresh” is mint. Yum.
2. Second best is in the frapuccino section. Probably green tea.

E. Running in the rain is not nearly as unpleasant as you might imagine, unless you run without key items like headbands to cover your cold ears or a water proof jacket or an episode of This American Life to listen to on your i-pod.

1. Radio Lab is a reasonable substitute when you run out of This American Life.
2. Headphones are also important.
3. And a grandiose pancake breakfast afterwards.

F. If you have two-year-old twins for your niece and nephew, it may be a good idea to take them to Trader Joe’s because they have baby carts there.

1. It may also be a good idea to pick apples with them and find them lots of books at thrift stores and it is very important that you know about bath time and bike riding.

Keep pumpkins on the mind, too.

Yo da le la lu the weird version of (Rules for) Living Life on the Lime (989)

I just think everyone should know that I’m super happy.

Job applications in the works. Let me know if you hear about something in the legal field that doesn’t require a JD: k great thanks.

Also, listen to some Foster the People because it will make you happy. The whole album is the best option.

If someone offers to show you how to do a back flip, do it. Then teach me.

Eat greens.

Then eat ramen and Captain Crunch — the one with colorful stuff is better but might have worse chemical colorings in it.

Free association.

God, bears are cool.

Poems.

Editing. Running.

Oh my gosh and I’m finally reading The Hunger Games. You should read it too. I couldn’t stop and stayed awake until 2:30 am. This means that I made it through half the book and tonight I’m going to get in bed at, like, 9 so that I can finish it before I go to sleep without also preventing myself from getting enough sleep.

Sleep is super great.

I actually kind of like Twitter. Let’s Tweet together. You can follow me.

Now it is time for me to listen to Lonely Boy. RIGHT NOW.

A woman was yodeling the other afternoon at Montana Jack’s (that’s in Dean, MT, — I dare you to find it without asking for directions) and it was cool.

EmPeeTee — I bet you could learn to yodel. It would be hilarious.

Signing off,
the one and only, really truly alive and attempting to write, LIME

serenity, serenity. Oh, I have serenity.

(Rules for) Living Life on the Lime (182) FLUMC Edition

A) Try synchronized swimming.

1. Especially in a lake.
2. But take your time jumping in. It’s nerve-racking.

B) Hot dogs are awesome. Tomato soup is less awesome.

C) Keep camp feet under control.

1. Recommended: bathe and apply lotion.
2. (Definition of camp feet: grimy everywhere).

D) Run in the morning to revitalize your spirit.

E) No drugs or sex in the bushes at church camp.

F) Sleep will save you.

1. And hugs.

G) Sing.

H) Wear bug spray.

Camp, photo credit Janna

(Rules for) Living Life on the Lime (#444)

A) Never do work in a sauna.

1. Or too near your mother who is making phone calls.

B) Make whole wheat banana pumpkin muffins.

1. YUM
2. If you have honey, I bet that would be double good, but we didn’t, so I used brown sugar.

C) Email one liners. They’re funny.

D) Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen smells the best.

E) Go running with a family member.

1. It will be good for both of you (physically, mentally, etc.).
2. Probably she/he will say something that will surprise you.
3. It might even make for a good story later. Like if he/she sees a stick and thinks it’s a snake and leaps into the air.

Oh a joyful world.

(Rules for) Living Life on the Lime (425)

A. Be a radical optimist.

1. Smile more because it makes you happier.
2. Sleep more because it also makes you happier.
3. Remember what it’s like to be around grumpy people.

• (not super fun).

B. When traveling by train at night in India, use the Western style toilet.

C. Consider the usefulness of hanging upside down.

D. Appreciate your ankles and air that is clean and sweet porridge and brightly colored clothing.

1. Expressing appreciation will make you happier.

E. Eat turmeric.

1. Apparently it reduces the risk of degenerative brain diseases.
2. Try turmeric on sweet potatoes with paprika or in split pea soup. Yum yum.

F. When you see locals dashing into a cafe run by a monastery, follow them!

1. Maybe you will find ginger tea and authentic Indian tea and fried rice and sweet porridge.
2. Maybe you will sit in the balcony and see goats on the roof not quite next door, but nearby.
3. And maybe you will discover secret stairs and foot paths that wind between the apartment buildings and shanties and then you will feel in-the-know.