Tag Archives: blogging

(Rules for) Living Life on the Lime (515)

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A. Appreciate the rain. Other people have so much more or less of it than they need. Just appreciate yours.

B. Remember to use I-statements when expressing your discomfort with someone else.

  1. Example: “I feel angry because you ate all the pie, dude!”
  2. Example: “I feel happy because I scored three goals on that group of children, which means I win.”
  3. Example: “When you poke me in the side, I feel tickled.”
  4. And so on.

C. Consider the consequences of your actions.

  1. Like if you eat too many blueberries and spinach, it might give you the runs.
  2. Or if you get into the shower with your glasses on, they might get wet.

D. Re-use zip-lock bags.

E. There can never be too many raspberries or blueberries, despite what I said earlier.

F. Trust yourself.

 

In Which There Is a New Job and Popcorn

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I made maple and brown sugar sauce with coconut oil for popcorn yesterday and it was incredible. I also paid enough attention to the Oscars to know that Anna Hathaway is weirdly widely hated and Adele is weirdly widely loved — at least according to Twitter, that the Onion may have issued it’s first-ever retraction after making a stupid wise crack about the most adorable child actor yet to be sucked in by Hollywood, and that the same Quvenzhané was also subjected to weird sexualization by MacFarlane who declared it would be 16 years before she would be too old for George Clooney. My conclusion: weird.

Then this morning there was Starbucks, coffee, and re-hashing of things I used to know how to do but don’t really know how to do any more. Without a doubt, I am a happy camper to be opening, but I have a feeling that I will be craving more than one 2 pm nap in the weeks to come. Unfortunately, 2 pm is about the mid-hour of job number two, so I’ll have to quell those urges, at least for the time being.

I made more popcorn tonight and used brewer’s yeast on it that I think was mislabeled (#annoying) because it’s not yellow and flakey the way it’s supposed to be.

It’s amazing how studying writing or reading closely as a part of your main employment will make you rethink every word you choose when you are the one writing. And rethink grammatical structure. And rethink metaphors, mixed or well-constructed though they may be. Even beginning a sentence with the phrase “It’s amazing how…” starts to annoy me. Like it’s too tawdry or something. Too tired.

However, writing begets better writing, at least from what I can tell, and so… I shall write.

And you may even see a transition to substance sometime soon.

But I won’t make promises, because that would be calling it a comeback a little too soon, I think 😉

I might owe my Dad a post on the New Girl. I’ll think about it.

And we can’t go on without Rules. Watch for that.

(Rules for) Living Life on the Lime (337)

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A. Do not be afraid to take a break.

  1. From anything. Seriously, from running or writing or being really strict with yourself on that diet. Or whatever.
  2. For real. But don’t do anything extreme. Taking a break is good as long as it doesn’t result in extreme unhealthy life conditions.
  3. Ok, so #2 was probably obvious, but I didn’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s bad decision-making as a result of unclear advice.

B. Working 90-100 hours per week is possible.

C. Over-attachment to one’s mobile device is unhealthy.

D. The best non-caffeinated beverage at Starbucks is the venti soy Refresh tea misto.

  1. “Refresh” is mint. Yum.
  2. Second best is in the frapuccino section. Probably green tea.

E. Running in the rain is not nearly as unpleasant as you might imagine, unless you run without key items like headbands to cover your cold ears or a water proof jacket or an episode of This American Life to listen to on your i-pod.

  1. Radio Lab is a reasonable substitute when you run out of This American Life.
  2. Headphones are also important.
  3. And a grandiose pancake breakfast afterwards.

F. If you have two-year-old twins for your niece and nephew, it may be a good idea to take them to Trader Joe’s because they have baby carts there.

  1. It may also be a good idea to pick apples with them and find them lots of books at thrift stores and it is very important that you know about bath time and bike riding.

Keep pumpkins on the mind, too.

Soliloquy: Utterance by a person talking to herself oblivious to present hearers

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When I suddenly ceased to blog, I had written 337 posts.

It was something of an impulsive decision, the way some people get tattoos. I thought about it, but then suddenly, boom!, no more blog (or ink permanently injected into the skin) and that was that. Although this is a decision, unlike tatting up, that is easily reversed. I could keep blogging. It might even be good for me. An exercise in continued continuous writing. The point, I think, is that the blog serves it’s purpose: it gets me to write when otherwise I would not. Sometimes I even edit.

In any case, here I am, writing some rather self-indulgent soliloquies on my blog.

I think it might be time to write some rules, or a list of something. I’m good at that. I’m also looking at alternative blog theme backgrounds, so um, if you have any free wordpress preferences/recommendations, there are a few of you regulars who could really influence this decision.

The Convenient Truth (Convenient because it’s Truth)

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Twitter is awesome. (Thanks, Katay, for really introducing me to the concept).

More truth: I have a writing bug at this time of night. Despite being truth and therefore inherently convenient (for a blog post), this is simultaneously not convenient because I really like waking up early. I loved 8 am classes. It’s sickening, really, but morning is so much better than anything else. Except for night. Like around 11 or midnight. So that’s a super frustrating set of preferences to have. It’s like I need two nighttimes, and by nighttimes I mean sleeptimes. And both should begin around 1 or 2 and last until 5 or 6 (morning and afternoon, obviously).

That would work, right? I could become a super-in-tune-with-my-body-yogi-type-of-person. Maybe that’s not exactly what a yogi is. Uhh. Whatever.

Sometimes I like to do yoga in the morning, for about ten minutes. See? I’m well on my way.

Aside: Mailman, the mutinous kitten, is currently in a fight with something in the bathroom, which is awesome, because it just sounds like someone banging and crashing around and I appreciate that, while I’m alone in the house. I have a completely insane cat to protect me and surround me with noise and joy.

 

So last night, I had a bizarre sci-fi nightmare, which made me feel significantly less like a yogi. Hold on. That is very likely the question of the century. DO yogis have nightmares? It wouldn’t be very… I don’t know… calm of them. Still, this is an important question.

But my sci-fi dream involved a super psycho and malevolent woman (shocking, right? there was an evil mastermind) who would basically turning people into zombies (I’m not even into zombies — I have NEVER seen “The Walking Dead” or any of the all-the-rage vampire movies).

Cat update: Earlier today, he ran straight into the post that resides in the middle of the cabin. It was hilarious. Sometimes he climbs like a fourth of the way up it and then realizes the endeavor is useless. It’s cute. Now he is hiding behind the vacuum cleaner planning his next attack in my vicinity.

The point is that she was just injecting them with something, or forcing them to ingest something — you know, like a date rape drug — and then a little while later they would go all nutso, get crazy strong and eat the people around them. We’re talking Hulk-like, shirt-ripping strong and a ghastly amount of Beast-face transformations among my inner circle of friends. (Ok, subconscious, this is officially my message to you to get a little more creative when you have free reign).

It sounds corny here, I know, but when you’re dreaming and you’re supposed to be the hero who saves the world from all of your best friends who have been date-rape-drugged into eating your flesh, life is less than super fantastic and being cynical or critical is not exactly a cakewalk. What tv show is it where some character decides to change the usage of cakewalk? (I cannot remember proper nouns to save my life).

So I woke up and texted people who I hoped were in approximately the same time zone to reassure me that none of them were zombies and if they were, could they just get on with it, please? Because it’s five in the morning and I really need to sleep or die and that’s just the whole real deal. So follow the path to my blue elephant nightlight — yes, I sleep with a blue elephant nightlight because it’s scary having a mad cat in the house — and devour my flesh asap. K great thanks.

Mad Cat update: Mailman has become distracted by the vacuum cleaner and forgotten to attack my vicinity. Maybe he wore himself out racing around the carpet and running into walls.

I guess maybe all of this means I wasn’t meant to be a yogi after all. And that is the truth. Another truth? I would like all of you to cross your fingers for me. I’m not going to say why, but if you do it and it works, I will. Oh, mystery, what better addition to a free associative blog post?

Less Mad Cat update: He totally forgot the attack and came to purr on my lap. Ferocious. Wow.

Finally, we have come to the end of the free association. Now you know new things about me:

  1. I do ten minutes of yoga in the morning when I remember, which is usually when I’m sore.
  2. I nightmare about my friends turning into the Hulk (but weirdly, with faces sort of like the Notre Dame guy — pretty sure this is a politically incorrect detail).
  3. I sleep with a large blue elephant nightlight.
  4. I have decided that nightmare should be a verb in the way that dream is a verb.
  5. I appear to have a fairly inaccurate concept of what a yogi is.

Ta DA

Oh, and these are my favorite babies in the whole world:

 

 

(Rules for) Living Life on the Lime (182) FLUMC Edition

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A) Try synchronized swimming.

  1. Especially in a lake.
  2. But take your time jumping in. It’s nerve-racking.

B) Hot dogs are awesome. Tomato soup is less awesome.

C) Keep camp feet under control.

  1. Recommended: bathe and apply lotion.
  2. (Definition of camp feet: grimy everywhere).

D) Run in the morning to revitalize your spirit.

E) No drugs or sex in the bushes at church camp.

F) Sleep will save you.

  1. And hugs.

G) Sing.

H) Wear bug spray.

Camp, photo credit Janna