A. Appreciate the rain. Other people have so much more or less of it than they need. Just appreciate yours.
B. Remember to use I-statements when expressing your discomfort with someone else.
- Example: “I feel angry because you ate all the pie, dude!”
- Example: “I feel happy because I scored three goals on that group of children, which means I win.”
- Example: “When you poke me in the side, I feel tickled.”
- And so on.
C. Consider the consequences of your actions.
- Like if you eat too many blueberries and spinach, it might give you the runs.
- Or if you get into the shower with your glasses on, they might get wet.
D. Re-use zip-lock bags.
E. There can never be too many raspberries or blueberries, despite what I said earlier.
F. Trust yourself.
A. Sing along.
B. Complete tasks you planned to complete.
- Don’t freak out if it’s not on exactly the right timeline — flexibility is good.
- But quit procrastinating.
C. Sometimes it is hard to understand what people are saying, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be interesting if you figure it out.
- For example: “Make Me Proud” by Drake featuring Nicki Minaj is good, but what is Nicki Minaj actually saying? I think there are words missing.
D. Be optimistic.
E. Sleeping enough helps you maintain a normal weight. So do that.
F. Include characters you are uncomfortable writing when you write.
- You might make a new friend.
- Or learn something new about yourself.
- Or you might discover that people are not so different from one another, no matter what identities have been pinned to them (e.g. black, feminist, gay, conservative, stay-at-home mom).
G. Drink enough beer.
- But not too much beer.
H. Go swinging.
I. Take pictures.
- Of the garden.
- And other stuff, too.
in the morning
A) Try synchronized swimming.
- Especially in a lake.
- But take your time jumping in. It’s nerve-racking.
B) Hot dogs are awesome. Tomato soup is less awesome.
C) Keep camp feet under control.
- Recommended: bathe and apply lotion.
- (Definition of camp feet: grimy everywhere).
D) Run in the morning to revitalize your spirit.
E) No drugs or sex in the bushes at church camp.
F) Sleep will save you.
- And hugs.
H) Wear bug spray.
Camp, photo credit Janna
A) Never do work in a sauna.
- Or too near your mother who is making phone calls.
B) Make whole wheat banana pumpkin muffins.
- If you have honey, I bet that would be double good, but we didn’t, so I used brown sugar.
C) Email one liners. They’re funny.
D) Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen smells the best.
E) Go running with a family member.
- It will be good for both of you (physically, mentally, etc.).
- Probably she/he will say something that will surprise you.
- It might even make for a good story later. Like if he/she sees a stick and thinks it’s a snake and leaps into the air.
Oh a joyful world.
B) Have no strict rules about what you hate because it’s fun to be surprised into liking something or someone.
C) Naptime is the best time.
- Besides walking or running outside time.
- Or eating brunch time.
- Or hugging time.
D) Road trip.
E) Recent discovery: ducks always make me happy.
A) Don’t blame it on the haters; they’re just the haters.
C) Learning to do handstands is good because if you are ever upside down you will already know what it feels like and might even freak out less if it happens suddenly.
D) Make lists about what is awesome in your life.
- And also make lists of the unpleasant variety.
- And also make grocery lists
- And lists of titles for songs you intend to write in the future.
- And lists of things about which you could make lists.
- Then tell other people it’s a rule that they do the same.
E) Apply for a job that appears to be entirely uncharacteristic in relation to your personality and political beliefs. (It’s good to stretch).
F) Some people just deserve to be flipped off.
These Rules are brought to you by Some Cows in the Road, never there when you really need them